December 7, 1988

It's strange to think that 19 years ago today, a catastrophic 7.2 earthquake hit this place and stole thousands of lives. Nearly everyone I have met lost a friend, a parent, or a sibling in the devastation. The reason Mother Teresa came to Spitak in the first place was to give immediate relief in the aftermath of the disaster. Her Sisters have been here ever since. In fact, if it weren't for the earthquake, I wouldn't be here. All of the factories, businesses, and the general spirit of the people was leveled at the time of the earthquake- and for the most part, it remains that way. Keep the people of Spitak in your prayers as they mourn their loved ones today!

It's been a while since I've written something! And I sit here, still not really sure what to write. I guess my time here has become less and less a trip or an adventure (though there are definitely still moments) and more and more my LIFE.

I began teaching at a school in a nearby village over a month ago. It's been an organizational disaster, but I love it anyway. First of all, the days I was supposed to go and teach kept changing and the kids never knew when to come and there were teachers who were not so thrilled that these kids were leaving their classes to come to learn English (and I don't really blame them). The second obstacle was that I have kids from ages 6-14, which makes planning a nightmare, because they're all at different levels. I have no resources (no books etc) and spend mornings making my own worksheets by hand. There's also that little language problem, which means the Sisters have been sending one of the less severely disabled children along with me to translate. While they like to come, that really makes things more of an adventure. But despite all of these minor challenges, I really like it (and was very surprised by that- I never thought I'd like to teach, or that I'd be teaching here!)

I spend a TON of time with kids- AND IT'S GREAT. The Sisters made me more or less responsible for a rosary prayer group for children that happens once a week. Forty kids come and belt out the rosary in between sporadic kicking and poking. I had to break up a fist fight a couple of weeks ago. I saw it start and was going to let it finish on its own, but suddenly there were 15 boys all punching each other and so I ran in the middle to try to break it up. I'm not really sure why the kids come, because they don't PRAY at all- and it's even boring for me! I feel bad for them, really, and sometimes I find myself goofing off with the boys during the rosary. Ridiculous. I've tried to find ways to get around saying a whole rosary and to make it more interesting, (I experimented a couple of weeks ago with making rosaries- but we didn't have beads, so we tried to make them with paper and flour and water...and it was a failure...surprise), but the Sisters are pretty strict with what they want, and I have to be very sneaky if I want to take initiative and do something different. I feel like I joined the ranks of a religious order and tacitly took a vow of obedience, which sometimes makes me CRAZY- but I'm sure it's good for me. Anyway, the kids are great and I still have a lot of fun despite the setting.

I also spend a lot of time just BEING with the young adults/kids in the home. I was feeling pretty down and useless a couple of weeks ago, and I reflected that my existence here IS often useless, but purposeful. I'm not always DOING something- like washing clothes, cleaning etc- but the needs of the children here transcend those basic needs. They are more or less taken care of better than the kids in the village. But they crave love and attention SO SO badly. I try to take them on walks (snow walks, now), play guitar & sing, draw, be goofy etc. A couple of days ago I was laying across the couch with my legs across Marine, while our 50 year old Vosky (who has Down Syndrome) was giving me a foot massage for like an hour! At the same time, I was holding the hand of Artur, ( 21 years & loves Americans because they say "hey guys") and surrounded by some other kids. My heart was bursting in this moment as I realized how blessed I am.

I can't believe it's already December. Wow. For the first time in my life I think I am experiencing Advent qua Advent. All of the things I thought were so normal about this time of the year have been stripped away. I admit that I really do miss some of the traditions of Christmas like baking with my mom and sisters, watching White Christmas, admiring Christmas lights, listening to Christmas music (the Sisters turn off all the radios during advent) etc. Advent here is really Advent- which is great, but different. I finally feel as though I'm preparing for the coming of Christ.

And, I don't need to watch White Christmas anyway, because I think I will have my own White Christmas, for the first time! It's really snowy in these beautiful mountains. And it's cold too. I washed clothes today and am afraid they will turn into icicles by the time I go home. Oh well.

As the time goes by, I am growing and continuing to be challenged and so very happy to be here. I also miss friends and family: you continue to be in my thoughts and prayers. My plan now is go home in late May, so we'll see what happens.

Love and God Bless,

Gen